Low temperatures and the hardy Scots/soft Southerners Theory……

50F / 10C degrees
People in southern England turn on the central heating
People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40F / 4C degrees
Southerners shiver uncontrollably
Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35F / 2C degrees
Cars in the south of England refuse to start
People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20F / -6C degrees
Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt; girls start wearing mini-skirts

15F / -9C degrees
Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
People from Dundee swim in the River Tay at Broughty Ferry

0 F / -17C degrees
Life in the south grinds to a halt
Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

-10F / -23C degrees
Life in the south ceases to exist
People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

-80F /  -62C degrees
Polar bears wonder if it’s worth carrying on
Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

-100F / -73C degrees
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
People in Stirling put on their ‘long johns’

-173F /  -113C degrees
Alcohol freezes
Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

-297F /  -182C degrees
Microbial life starts to disappear
The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

-460F / -273C degrees (Absolute Zero)
All atomic motion stops
Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

-461F / -274C degrees

Hell freezes over
Scotland wins the World Cup