Fighting the Feeling

Written in: London: UK

At: Work

Using: Work PC

Listening to: Richard Ashcroft: Music is Power

Published using: eMail via OWA

I have always followed my heart, no matter what; I just have. No-one can question your motives; not that I would care if they did. It’s a very noble way to be, as much of what is heart-felt is noble and can be understood easily by the masses. Or so you would think …

I have gone through some changes in the last 2 years. I have had to as I would really need to be Captain Arsehole to remain the way I was. Life made me sit a few exams; and having failed them miserably, I was put me on a course for some 18 months to ensure that I had learned my lessons. I would have preferred the course up front, but that would make far too much sense. The latter 7 months being the “dissertation” and requiring a mammoth effort to complete. Yes there is code in here, but it will all make sense to those I want it to.

With these new qualifications under my belt, I am still flummoxed by some peoples approach. As much as I have no business meddling – and I won’t – I do look on and regardless of my desire to do so – my head starts to try and understand what it sees and hears. An immediate arm-wrestle starts, and for a few moments, utter illogic reigns. What am I referring to? Well something that only seems to make sense to some in music is that you shouldn’t fight the feeling!

Fighting the feeling. To define it – as much as it makes sense to me – is to be in a position where your heart tells you one thing (which is actually the creative side of the brain), and the logical side tells your another! The result can be a blinding confusion. However the confusion is something that can be a direct result of, in my case a heart-break. However the day to day feelings that make us the people that our friends and loved ones well … love often end up hampered by flawed logic and fear of where it might lead. Well, it just might lead to be best things you have ever experienced; something that requires a degree of risk-taking. Once you have accepted that this is a feeling you have, you can get on in living with it.

The effort that goes into fighting the feeling is majestic and can be seen far more obviously than you can even imagine. The very fact that no one ever says anything to help is only emphasising my point; they are fighting the feeling that you are unhappy, and they want to say something.

The flip side of this is that some have a simple way of looking in that they have very few feelings and do not get involved. Personally, their lack of compassion is more obvious then them having 3 heads.

Feelings are not something that go away, nor are they on or off. They are there; are to be respected as they are what form our character.