Sweaty “business” men getting on flights!

… because for some reason, you ladies are not guilty of this!

The world is not set to wait on you smelly!

Permit me to impart some banterish advice as to assist you in quelling the growing impression developing in your fellow passengers around that you are in fact; an arrogant twat!

First of all, I am delighted you are in business class, but my years worth of economy tickets are worth more to the airlines than your ticket buddy! So, do us all a favour and get on the flight and sit your fat arse down immediately so that we can all get seated and on our way!

Might I also suggest that you check your gargantuan wardrobe in, so as to aide the air stewards in not forcing small children into the hold to stow your sodding duty free!

I have tried it and it is possible to have your luggage stowed and be sat down in 7 seconds! If you are the frequent flyer you would have us believe you are, you will know this!

Next time you see a rowing of frowning faces behind you – that’s your “q” batman – sit you ass down! Oh and you read that FT far to quickly for the rest of us to believe that you knew what you were reading! Tell the truth – you were playing the ‘how executive am I” game, right?

I challenge you to be that bumbling arse on a Glasgow flight; we’ll tell you straight my friend!

ONWARDS!